But I Wanna Go to School!
You’ve just decided that homeschooling is definitely for you. It’s the greatest thing since sliced bread and it will be perfect for your whole family! Or, perhaps, you’ve been homeschooling for years now. You enjoy it, your kids have thrived on it, and you can’t imagine your lives any other way. The reasons for your decision and your satisfaction are endless.You’ve rallied friends and family behind you. Even the school board is on your side. Nothing could be better!
Who could possibly burst your bubble? Well, how about your own little junior or juniorette? As he or she bursts into your room one day to announce, "Mom, Dad, I want to go to school!”
What will you do?
Grace Llewellyn, a homeschooling author was attributed with saying the following in a recent speech, "If they go in, it will be with the freedom and the knowledge that it is their choice, and that they can just get up and leave if they want to. The knowledge that you have that freedom brings a whole different attitude to learning and to the entire school experience."
While this might seem like an ideal situation, I don’t know many school administrators, or even parents, for that matter, who really want their kids popping in and out of schools on a whim. It's disruptive to all involved and not really fair.
Still it seems quite appropriate to let the child have input into this decision. This would especially apply as the child gets older (and hopefully wiser) and to families who use a delight- or interest-directed approach to schooling.
So how can you make a wise decision? First, consider why you are homeschooling in the first place. There may be circumstances that make attending a public or private school out of the question, such as: a transient job, dangerous situations in local schools, financial hardship, distance, or religious conviction.
If none of these extenuating circumstances exist, consider carefully the desires of the child. Discuss the situation at length. Express your views, feelings, and concerns, and let your child do likewise. Don’t make up your mind beforehand.
Be honest about your feelings and assessment of the situation. Don’t bad-mouth the school system, that may just back-fire. But do accurately explain the differences between home- and public schooling. Do explain the real freedoms and joys association with homeschooling! Tell them the drawbacks of public schooling as well.
Then sit back and be prepared to listen to the concerns of your child. Find out why your child wants to attend school. The more specific the answer is, the better.
You may be surprised at the simplicity of the problem and realize that the child’s desires can be easily accommodated while staying at home. Perhaps you child wants to ride a bus, have a lunchbox, learn new types of artwork, go on a field trip, meet more children, play on a team, eat in a lunchroom, or go to the library more often. The solution can be as simple as having some of the trappings of school, such as new clothes, a looseleaf, workbooks, photographs, etc.
Once you discover the specifics of what the child feels is lacking, you can both decide if an institutional situation is the best or only solution.
My oldest daughter attended a public school for two years before she convinced me to keep her home. She felt the schoolwork was boring and limiting, and said so often. But she did like playing at the playground, meeting other kids, and lots of positive attention and feedback from teachers and administrators. Because of this we have included park trips, support group activities, and neighborhood children into our days.
While attending a public kindergarten, Jessica envied the kids who were in the after-school program! A crushing blow to a devoted stay-at-home mom. One day I went to her school right at dismissal time for a committee meeting. She longingly watched all all the kids in after-school running merrily out to the swings. But when the meeting ended, less than an hour later, we walked past the playground again on the way to our car. There, lined up along the chain-link fence, were four of Jessica’s classmates. They were hanging onto the top of the fence and looking longingly out toward the parking lot. As we passed, and Jessica greeted her friends, they said to her, “How come you get to go home and we don’t?” and “You’re so lucky!”
Here were her friends, who still had another couple of hours before they would see their parents, expressing their envy of her! She had just never been around long enough to see this transformation. The grass in the playground looked greener to her, until she got a little glimpse of what it was really like to be stuck in there. Many times since, she has thanked me for being home for her.
Often children desire something that looks fun, or interesting, or just different from the outside, when they may not actually enjoy it anyway. The advice of many has been, “If they want to go to school, let them do it! They’ll find out soon enough what it’s really like!”
To date, my four oldest children have all tried out school at one point—and all preferred to return (and stay) home.
On the other hand, however, they may thrive in that environment! There are many children whose learning styles are such that a classroom situation is beneficial. If the schools in your area are acceptable, sending your child to school may be the best thing for all involved.
As another homeschooler, whose daughter chose to attend public school and then chose to come back home said, “She learned much better by experiencing it than she ever could have through my explanations. If the child has the choice to stay home, he or she will have something very few school children have—freedom of choice—and I think that can make all the difference in the world.”
My biggest concern about institutions is the attitude they seem invariably to produce. I can’t recall at what age it begins, but I don’t know of any 6th grader who isn’t, at the very least, beginning to think school is a drag and can’t wait to get out of “prison” for the summer.
I always did well in school, and enjoyed it in many respects. But after graduating from college, I had to relearn how to learn. It wasn’t until then that I realized how many things fascinated me.
Fortunately, when our daughter left school, she still had a desire for knowledge. She was still very curious. We never had to couch learning as a game (although we do play lots of games) because she loves learning.
Jessica came home because she convinced us that homeschooling wasn’t lunacy. But the advantages now seem so numerous. All of our children will have the opportunity to learn the things that truly fascinate them. What a blessing!
Homeschooling for Success: How Parents Can Create a Superior Education for Their Child