Homeschool Mommas:
Deborah Solinas

By Alison Moore Smith

When I asked Deborah Solinas if she would be willing to be the latest guinea pig for this happy little column experiment, I honestly didn’t know that much about her. I “met” her in an internet discussion group. All I knew was that she had said a number of things that made a lot of sense and I thought they might be of interest to all of you. Kindly she agreed to be interviewed.

When I found out that she is not only married to a mathematician—who even does recreation math (see, I told you math is fun!)—but had also planned to be one herself before deciding to stay home with her children, I knew this column was meant to be!

To top it off, Deborah loves pouring over educational materials, her whole gang loves to read, they are avid Star Trek fans, and she has three daughters. A perfect subject!

Deborah, her husband, Jerome, and their children Lisa (almost 13), Katie (almost 10), and Kristin (almost 8) live way up north in the lovely town of Taylorsville, Maryland.

How long have you homeschooled your children? What motivated you to start?

This is Lisa’s and Katie’s fifth year of homeschooling and Kristin’s second. How we started is a long story. Don’t say I didn't warn you!

We first decided to homeschool Katie when we found no acceptable alternatives. The local ECC asked me why I was concerned about her—after all, she's very bright! (True, but irrelevant.) Then our local parochial school said that they could not cope with her needs. Finally, the local public school told us that she probably did need help, but wouldn’t get any until she was failing. Then they asked if I would consider Ritalin.

Upon serious reflection, we decided that we could teach her ourselves and avoid the teasing and rejection she would receive in school. Who wants her child to fail? Where would we have gone to get her self-esteem back?

After testing at Johns Hopkins and elsewhere, we got speech and language services for her without her having to fail first. She continues to receive S&L twice a week, but is now at or above grade level in most subjects.

We decided to homeschool Lisa a few months later. She was suffering from almost daily migraines. When she had one she was just sent home, with all her schoolwork. I decided that we might as well do it ourselves!

I had long wanted to homeschool our children, and Lisa had begged us for three years to be homeschooled. We resisted for two reasons (1) my husband thought the kids needed to be “socialized,” and (2) I read an article in the Seton newsletter that convinced me I couldn’t homeschool. I couldn’t imagine forcing my children to address me as “Mrs. Solinas” during school time.

Kristin was in the local special education school. I almost pulled her out in preschool—and in retrospect I should have—but she continued until the gap between the special education curriculum and her abilities became too great. She also figured out at the end of kindergarten that she could be homeschooled too. So, after over three years of special education, she was home. She continues to receive S&L and also social skills services from our local school.

All my kids are labeled ADHD. Katie is PDDNOS and Kristin is autistic. And their mom has some autistic traits as well. Don’t feel sorry for us—we’re having fun!

How long do you plan to homeschool?

’Till they beg for mercy! No, really until they are 18, unless they want to do further study at home.

How would you categorize your homeschooling style or philosophy?

Middle-of-the-road? I need some structure, but I try to be flexible and let the kids choose what work and materials they use to a large extent. I make sure that the kids get the assistance they need. They all need assistance, except Lisa with her writing. We always work on language skills and social skills with Katie and Kristin.

Each child has a unique vocation to be discerned and facilitated. This is present in an embryonic form even in childhood. This vocation should be respected rather than forced into another mold. This does not mean that each does not learn basics, but that the pattern of learning for each child should be carefully considered.

What types of materials do you use? What are a couple of your favorite educational resources?

I use a mix of stuff from all over. I use a few texts and lots of other stuff. The choice is made depending on the goals for that year, the child's needs, and our budget. The children are invited to give their input for the goal process and our goals change at least a few times between September and May.

My favorite stuff? Let the Authors Speak; Considering God's Creation; Christ the King—Lord of History; Usborne books; library books, Fischertechnik, Making Math Meaningful; Famous Men of… various places; Handwriting Without Tears; and Sing, Spell, Read, and Write. Ask me next week and this list will have changed some!

Describe a typical “school day.”

I get up and find Katie on the living room carpet, looking at a video tape. She has fed herself and we begin at 9:00 am. We do her work in the order she desires unless it is an S&L day, where I reserve the easy-to-do-elsewhere work for later. At 10:00 am, even if she is not done, I start with Kristin.

By 11:00 am or so, Lisa has gotten up and fed herself (Did I mention that she is not a morning person?) and we begin her stuff. On S&L days, she may begin sooner, as Katie, Kristin, and I will leave at about 11:25 to go to the local school.

Usually we are done by noon, except for reading and any art, music, or PE we do that day. Lisa and Katie usually pick books to read and I read to Kristin. On S&L days, things go a little longer as we don’t get home until 1:15 pm. Each child spends about another hour on her work, which leaves time for chores and plenty of free time as well.

Do you belong to a support group of any kind?

I belong to a TORCH chapter but, except for the field trips I arrange and a monthly in-home activity, we don’t do much. I expect to be starting an art club soon.

What do you feel have been the worst and best things about home education in your family?

The best thing is that my kids have been able to learn, period. I strongly suspect that Katie would not be reading yet if she weren’t homeschooled.

The worst thing is I have trouble finding time to exercise! Seriously, reading about perfect homeschooled kids who learn and do incredible things can be very distressing. I’m trying not to let it get me down.

What is the best advice you can give to someone just starting out or someone who is thinking about educating their children at home?

Relax.
Decide on what you really want out of an “education.”
Consider carefully your goals for your children.
Use input from your children about what to study and what materials to use as much as possible.
Relax.
Find some homeschoolers nearby and pick their brains. Look at their materials. Curriculum fairs are nice for a quick glance and lots of noise, but are not good places to decided on materials for your family.
Warm up your library card.
Read lots of different books on homeschooling.
Don’t try to duplicate a school in your home.
Try to make homeschooling part of your budget.
Relax and prepare to both learn and enjoy yourself. One of the little known aspects of homeschooling is that it’s fun!
Remember that if you don’t like some material, you probably won’t use it, no matter how wonderful it is for others. Feel free to use what is useful and discard the rest.
Trust yourself! You know your children better than anyone else.