Mothers Are Grand

Blessed art thou woman, for thou shalt be called Mother.

Yes, and thy chores and thy tasks shall follow thee all the days of thy life.

And thou shall eat the bread of thine own baking.

And thou shall dwell forever in a dirty house if thou dost not choose to clean it thyself.

Thou shalt arise before the cock croweth. And thou shall say unto thineself, "Where are the offspring which were given me? Yea, the sun has risen high in the sky and the hour is getting late; wherefore, I have been long at my labors."

And thou shalt go and find they offspring prostrateth on their cots.

And thou shalt say unto them, "Haste, arise and shine! For I have many labors for thee to perform. Wherefore, I have been many hours already preparing the day."

And thine offspring shall linger in sleep and shall say unto thee, "Though didst not watch the late, late, late show as I did last night. And mine eyes are heavy and mine bones acheth."

And thou shalt say unto thy offspring, "Get thee up from thy cot, ere I lay hand on thee! And go hither and scrub a sparkling tub. For thou has left black rings upon its sides."

And thy offspring shall say unto thee, "I will go and do thy bidding in a minute."

And thy rage shall know no end.

And thou shalt weep and wail and knish thy teeth mightily.

Nevertheless, thou shall scrub a sparkling tub thyself.

And glory shall be added unto thee, for thou didst not strike the lazy beast!

Thou art blessed above all others.

And thy descendents shall call thee blessed.

For thou preparest a table before them.

Thou cookest meat and all manner of tasty vittles.

And they shall sit at thy table with thee and partake with thee.

And they shall add glory to thy crown.

For they shall let thee also wash the dishes, if thou wilt.

And when night falleth, thou shalt be pooped.

And thy offspring shall say of thee, "She is an old woman. Wherefore she neither goes dancing, nor does she watch the late, late, late show."

Thy art and thy craft shall make thee called on.

And thou shalt labor at many tasks in the Kingdom.

For whomsoever shall asketh, thou shalt do his bidding.

Thy back shall acheth with arthritis.

Thy cane and thy husband shall be thy support.

Thy veins shall be varicose on thy aching legs. But, thou shall do thy labor with a smile.

Neither shalt thou gripe.

For in the day that thou dost, thy name shall be mud.

Nevertheless, thou art blessed.

For thou art crowned with the angels on the second Sunday of May on each and every year.

Wherefore thou shalt be blessed above all others.

For thou art Mother!

And thou shall find peace and joy in thy offspring forever and ever if thou endureth to the end.