No Family at Home Evening:
What Do We Do Now?
By Kathy Green and Alison Moore Smith
Circle of Sisters Archives
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An anonymous reader writes:
I think this column is a wonderful idea! I love to read things to help me improve. How do you handle Family Home Evenings when it is just mom and dad at home?
Kathy says:
Dear Reader,
Thanks for this list of significant questions. Many of these issues are far more difficult than any of us guessed they would be when we were younger and looking forward to a vacation from the toilsome baby years. Our other writer, Alison, is toughing it out through the toil. In fact she has, only a few weeks ago, lost her mom whom she openly adored; and learned she is carrying her sixth baby, but threatening to miscarry. She is so sick she can barely lift her head, but not complaining because that means she is still pregnant; but it won't be an easy pregnancy. Remember those days? Her oldest is a teenager who will possibly emancipate a bit on the young side. She is a brilliant girl who may tend to be adventurous, as was her momma. Now there's a plateful for you! I have shed many if not all of my empty nest tears. I still weep when I hear a particular song that reminds me of one of my six kids, or drive by one of the schools with which I strongly associate their childhood. I still think it is eerily strange to be a grandma. I thought I was one of the kids. Where did those years go?
I don't know how I could possibly have been so lucky, but both of my oldest kids have assumed the responsibility to keep the family together now that they are almost all grown and gone. They plan and host activities for the whole shootin' match, finding ways to deploy an army of relatives for baby blessings and special anniversaries. These are wonderful celebrations, and I look forward to them like a child to Christmas.
I hope we can get additional answers for you. All of your questions are important family issues for us to address if we are to remain strong enough to keep our kids and grandkids safe from the perilous errors of some parts of the society in which they live.
Alison says:
Kathy's right. I'm still working on how to engage my 0-16 year olds all at the same time and brain shrinkage is making creative thinking difficult. But I'll try to pull together a few decent resources and add the links at the bottom of the page.
Roy Fuller writes:
My ward had an enrichment night on just this very subject (Family Home Evening in all-adult homes). Here are some of the ideas I learned at that enrichment night.
- Read the Sunday School assignments for family night lessons. The little book of assignments has ideas for discussion with each lesson.
- Do family histories together as a family. Organize family photos, scrapbook, etc.
- Watch church videos. Start a rotating family home evening group with other empty nest people in your ward. Here are some ideas for family home evening groups:
- Have each person bring one story from their family history and share with others.
- Have a progressive dinner with your family home evening group.
- Assign a lesson or topic to the host family from the group
The following is also a fun game to play with other couples:
Each person writes the names of ten people from the Book of Mormon on ten separate pieces of paper. Put the pieces of paper with the Book of Mormon names in a container. Divide the group into two teams, men against women, etc. Each team takes turns. During your team's turn set the timer for one minute. Have one person from your team draw a name from the container. The person who drew the name must describe the person on the paper without giving the name, while team members guess who it is. Continue until the timer rings. Give a point for each correct answer. Leave the correct answers out of the container, and put the incorrect answers back into the container. Repeat with the other team. Continue until all of the names in the container have been correctly guessed The team with the most points wins.
Kathy says:
Roy, thanks for getting right on this topic!! I wish Alison and I were in your ward. We'd have a riot. I hope we can continue to add emphasis to this important mandate from our prophet. He has made it clear that we need to be much more careful in following this item of guidance—well—"religiously" is exactly the right word. Meanwhile, you've offered some great ideas. I know others will find them useful. I want to try the Book of Mormon characters with my grown kids. I'm sure I'll be embarrassed to admit how many of my favorites I can't easily characterize without peeking. We always benefit from studying family histories, also. I think this is a really inspired suggestion.
Carolee writes:
Perhaps the most important thing I've done as a single member is to remember that the council to have Family Home Evening every Monday night really does apply to me. Family Home Evening is for couples and singles! Once I gave in to that notion, it was easy to find a variety of ways to provide spiritually uplifting Monday nights. It has proved to be fun, rejuvenating, and an evening I look forward to.
Additional Resources:
Family Home Evening for Newlyweds
Deborah Rowley
In this handy book you'll find 80 Family Home Evening lessons for couples. Most of the lessons can be completed in less than an hour, although the amount of time you spend is up to you. There are 56 lessons that require absolutely no preparation and no money!
Family Home Evening Service Activity Book
Glorianne Muggli
This book of family service projects can serve as a catalyst for singles, couples, or singles groups to use their Monday evenings to bless the lives of others.
Enriching Our Lives through Family Home Evening
James E. Faust
Family Home Evening for Two
Janene Wolsey Baadsgaard
Family Night Flexibility
Kathryn W. Hales
What Makes a Good Family Home Evening
Lowell Durham, Jr.
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