Birth Order Parenting
Your Clothes
1st baby
You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby
You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby
Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth
1st baby
You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby
You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby
You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
The Layette
1st baby
You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby
You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby
Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries
1st baby
At the first sign of distress—a whimper, a frown—you pick up the baby.
2nd baby
You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby
You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Pacifier
1st baby
If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby
When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from you older kid's sippy cup.
3rd baby
You suck off the dirt and pop it back in.
Diapering
1st baby
You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby
You change his diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby
You try to change his diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to his knees.
Activities
1st baby
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby
You take your infant to the park.
3rd baby
You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out
1st baby
The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby
Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby
You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home
1st baby
You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby
You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby
You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins and Other Dangerous Activities
1st child
You rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child
You carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child
You deduct it from his allowance.
The Birth Order Book: Why You Are The Way You Are
The Birth Order Effect: How to Better Understand Yourself and Others