Mormon Momma

Caleb (4): Mom, did you see me climb on your desk? I am so fast. Did you see me go so fast?
Mom: Yes, you are so fast!
Caleb: Yes, I’m Super Boy.

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Caleb (4): Mom, if I was really magical I could turn everything in the world to Legos. See?
[Points stick at family room.]
Caleb: Pfffffffft. See? It’s not magic. It didn’t turn all Lego-y.

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Caleb (4): Mom, do you know when you get married?
Mom: When?
Caleb: When you get a bow tie. That’s when you get married.

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Caleb (4): Mom, can I have some of your drink?
Mom (somewhat older than 4): No.
Caleb: Please?
Mom: No, honey.
Caleb: Puhleeeeeeeez?
Mom: No, Caleb.
Caleb: But why?
Mom: Because I have a cold and it’s got my germs on it.
Caleb: But mom, you have to share. If you share…I will love you more.

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[Scene: Big sister helping little brother blow his nose.]
Alana (14): OK, blow!
[Caleb blows.]
[Blows.]
[Blows.]
[Blows.]
Alana: How much do you have in there?
Caleb (4): Nine.

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Caleb (4): Nobody move! I dropped me brain!

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[During her study of Utah history.]
Monica (10): Mom, were you alive in the time of Lake Bonneville?

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[Whispered at maximum whisper decibels.]
Caleb: Mom! Mom!
[pause—tugs on Mom’s sleeve]
Caleb: Mom! I have good new and bad news!
Mom: Really? What’s the good news?
Caleb: When you use a fork!
Mom: Oh! And what’s the bad news?
Caleb: When you don’t use a fork!

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[Upon noting the vast amounts of blown-in insulation lying on the basement floor.]
Mom: Caleb, what’s this mess all over the floor?
Caleb (4): Mom, I just throw my sword up and up and up on the ceiling and then…it’s raining in our home!

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Monica (10): Mom, do you know how you tell when someone is a teenager?
Mom: How?
Alana (14): I don’t want to hear this!
Monica: Well, first you look at their age. Then you see if it has the word “teen” on the end. If it does, you know they’re a teenager.

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