A couple of months ago — when I was scolding boys for slobbering over skanky girls — SilverRain said something that has come repeatedly to my mind:
Alison, it is true that men are attracted to women, and this isn’t per se bad. What is bad is when that attraction that MEN feel become a WOMAN’S responsibility, or her value. Once we are valued by ourselves or by others by how attractive we are to men, we become objects.
SilverRain did not define specifically what was implied in being objectified, and I don’t want to make assumptions, but it was clear this was not a good thing in her opinion.
I have wondered since if valuing physical attraction is acceptable.
Sure, as a woman of a certain age, I’m not the girl I once was. Age, sun, and 11 pregnancies have taken their toll. Not to mention chocolate. So being devalued simply because I’m not a young hottie anymore doesn’t sit well with me.
But is physical beauty any more worldly than, say, financial stability? (Something men are judged on all the time.) What about intelligence? Or ambition? Or leadership?
And don’t tell me that there isn’t a Mormon royalty, because there is. Too many relatives of GAs end up in general quorums, auxiliary presidencies, general boards, and/or as mission presidents to be coincidence. So is it bad to marry into the chosen blood line?
How do we judge people — for example, when choosing a spouse — and what criteria is acceptable criteria?
I tend to think that beauty and attraction are just part of the bundle, among many other things. And, frankly, I’d hate to “multiple and replenish the earth” with someone I wasn’t physically attracted to.
Since God gave us those attractions, I tend to think they are like any other urges: perfectly fine when managed appropriately.
What do you think about valuing others in part based on physical attraction?