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Vanilla 1.1.2 is a product of Lussumo. More Information: Documentation, Community Support.
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- CommentAuthorMichelle D
- CommentTimeMar 29th 2009
Please join us to discuss Feelings of a Tender Parent. -
Your article, dear, comes on a weekend when I most need to hear it. My children are gone over spring break to stay with their sister, just for fun--and I am alone in my house. My husband will be gone until sometime tonight with his bishop work. It is dark and storming hard outside, and the wind is howling, and I am alone with my thoughts. This is a day to reflect on my motherhood, my wifehood, my daughterhood, a day to evaluate and determine what is good and what isn't in those relationships, and what I need to do to improve. Your words reminded me how grateful I need to be for those relationships, and how fleeting they can be on earth.
I especially loved this:
"What words of advice and counsel do I offer my son? I have tried to remember everything I told him before he left for college: Be good. Be true to yourself. Be kind. Do your homework. Don’t stay up all night! Learn to balance everything you need and want to do. Keep in touch! Remember who you are. Read your patriarchal blessing occasionally. Go to church and Institute. Never forget how much I love you and how proud I am of you!"
I can see your tender heart in those words, to which we mothers (and fathers!) can all relate. Hugs to you, Michelle. -
- CommentAuthorMichelle D
- CommentTimeMar 29th 2009
Well, I am glad that I was able to finish editing it and posted it this morning before choir/church - just so you could read it today, Serena! I'm grateful it helped. Focus on your blessings and do your best to appreciate your children while you have them. I know that has made one of the biggest differences for me as a mother. Hugs to you, as well, Serena. I respect you and your desire to do your best in everything you do.
People keep asking me if I'm sad or nervous about our son's mission. My heart is a bit tender as I described in this post, but honestly I'm not sad or nervous - not yet. I am excited and relieved. Our circumstances have dictated a delay of many months, and I am relieved to see that his mission is finally reality. It also really helps my perspective to have had his two years of college. Well, at least at this point - granted, on June 24 when he enters the MTC, it will be a whole new ballgame! -
Well said, Michelle. I understand the heart being tender. Mine is still a little tender too. :)
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- CommentAuthorTinkerbell
- CommentTimeMar 29th 2009
My mom said that the first one (me) was actually the easiest to let go. In the back of her mind, she thought I would come back. But, after realizing that I wouldn't - I was really "gone" - it was harder to let the rest go. She keeps trying to convince #5 at college to move back in with her (which is ridiculous - she lives in a tiny room in a basement in someone's else's house). But, I can tell she just misses her kids. -
I appreciate your thoughts.....I remember when my son gave his "farewell" in Sacrament meeting & I was asked to speak. I equated his leaving to a "mini" insight to what Heavenly Father must have felt knowing He was sending His only Son to our world on His very important Mission. I know He (HF) had a perfect love for his Son, but I'm sure His heart was tender & concerned as His Son exercised His agency to embark on His Mission. The only comfort I had as a parent & the counsel I gave to my son was he was not going alone, the Comforter would be with him, as long as he was worthy to guide & direct him. To soothe his nerves & bring joy to his heart when he was troubled.
It will be ok Michelle...remember our Heavenly Father set the example for us as parents.....He sent His Son first..... -
- CommentAuthorfacethemusic
- CommentTimeMar 30th 2009 edited
Alison, we need somekind of a "grab a tissue" warning icon at the beginning of any article that might cause someone to sob all over their keyboards and short them out. Maybe an icon of a tissue being pulled from the box or something like that?
Michelle, this was so sweet and heartfelt. I'm still 4 years away from this-- but I KNOW that 4 years will fly by like the blink of an eye. I'm already gearing up for it. There's the part of me that's excited to see my kids as adults, to be out on their own, on missions, at college, starting their own families, etc. Then there's the selfish part of me that would be perfectly happy to have them stay right where they are for the rest of their lives!
I kind of feel like "Can't you grow up without really growing up?"
The wonderful thing though-- is that you can see how "truth" really IS an absolute. Because the same things we say to our kids NOW, when they're spending the night at someone's house, going on a school field trip, to a dance, etc are the same things we'll say to them as they're leaving "the nest" and going out on their own. Remember who you are, stand as a witness, look for opportunities to help someone, return with honor. No matter the situation, those things remain the same. And they're probably the same things Heavenly Father told US when we "left the nest". -
I needed this today! I had two little boys run away from home, which then brought a teeball team mom into it, a 911 dispatcher that thankfully knew my sons and husband, and my husband bring them home to me, hysterical. It does me goos to know that they do grow up, even if it is hard, and that someday, though not today, I will laugh about this. Today, all I can do is thank God that it was a friend that found them a mile from home. I keep trying to teach them and to ignore the "I hate church, its boring, I hate school, its boring... ect" and try to teach the correct principles. I guess all I can do is hold on and wait it out!
Ok, now I have a migraine from all the blubbering. -
- CommentAuthorTinkerbell
- CommentTimeMar 30th 2009
Kiar, sounds like a very rough day. Hope things get better! -
- CommentAuthorTinkerbell
- CommentTimeMar 30th 2009
We (my husband, kids and I) took my brother to be set apart tonight. He flies to UT tomorrow, where he will say goodbye to my mom and the rest of my brothers before going into the MTC on Wednesday. Granted, I am not his mother. I have been raising him every summer from 2001 to 2005 when he finally moved in with us for a few years. I thought I was done last summer, but with the delay in his mission, he came back here for another three months. Honestly, it is a relief to finally ship him off. Like I said, I am not his mom. I love my brother, but it has been hard work to get him to this point. In a lot of ways, it's been like I've had five sons instead of four. The younger ones have more physical needs, but he has the emotional/spiritual needs. I would often stay up late talking to him to help him sort out his life and then have to get up early and take care of my own kids. So, this is a big relief to me that he is officially a missionary. I hope he is prepared, but these last few months have taught me that he is as prepared as he is going to be. It's time for him to jump ship and swim.
I wish I could relate to the "tender feelings" aspect of sending off a missionary. Maybe when it is my own. Don't get me wrong. I do love my brother. But, it's been hard being his sister and mom, too. -
Thanks for this. Parenthood is such a journey. We grow up in some ways as much as they do. :)
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- CommentAuthorTinkerbell
- CommentTimeMar 31st 2009
I admit my heart is very tender this morning after sending my brother off at the airport. I just hope he knows how much he is loved. -
Don't forget about dearelder.com. You can send him letters before noon (Mountain Time) and have them in his mailbox at dinner time.
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Don't send emails because they only get to read them once per week and it takes up their computer time. Send letters.
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Hugs Tinkerbell! How are you doing spande2?
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- CommentAuthorMichelle D
- CommentTimeApr 1st 2009
I love you guys! Thanks for your comments.
Kiar and Tink, you deal with tough situations. Don't give up. No matter what happens, your efforts will be worth it! Hugs and prayers.
My son will celebrate his 21st birthday in the MTC. There were times when I wondered quietly if he would really go or not... even though I understood his decision to attend 2 years of college instead of 1 because of the timing of his classes for his major; and even though the last 6 months have been out of his control (and ours).
Tracy, that 4 years will fly by so quickly!! 4 years ago my oldest son was just beginning to drive and date. 4 years ago my second son was diagnosed with diabetes. 4 years ago my oldest daughter was entering YW. 4 years ago DD#2 was nearly 10 (and now will be able to attend youth conf and stake dances this summer!) 4 years ago DD#3 was in 1st grade. 4 years ago my youngest was being potty trained. In some ways, these milestones feel like forever ago, and in other ways they seem like yesterday. Time certainly goes by so fast!!
Michelle, you are right - parenthood is a journey and we grow up as much as our kids do!
Oh, and Tracy, I laughed at your comment about needing a tissue icon!!
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- CommentAuthorMichelle D
- CommentTimeApr 1st 2009
spande2, will dearelder.com print out your letters and send them as letters rather than emails? I haven't had time to check out their site, so I'm just wondering how the system works.
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