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- CommentAuthorMichelle D
- CommentTimeMar 13th 2009 edited
Our oldest son is 20 and has finished two years of college. He is currently waiting for his mission call to arrive. It should arrive sometime before the end of the month. (Yay!)
As we are facing this experience for the first time, spande2 recently offered me some encouragement and advice on her thread about her son's mission call. She volunteered to answer any questions we might have. I decided to move my response to a new thread in order to keep her post focused on her son and on other MM family who have been called to serve.
Davidson and anyone else who has sent a missionary, feel free to join in on this advice party!
I'll start with basic questions - after calling family (duh), what's most important to do first? Passport if necessary, since that takes time. But what else? I've been hesitant to even buy white shirts because what if I get all long-sleeved shirts and then he gets called to Samoa or somewhere tropical and needs short-sleeved shirts...
Being outside the "Mormon Corridor" - which would have stores aimed at those needing missionary clothing and supplies - does anyone have suggestions of places to shop (or places to avoid)? Money is an issue, so we want to stretch it as far as we can. (IOW, I'm not a Macy's shopper...)
Are there things that are easy to overlook but are necessary? I don't know - maybe nail clippers or something like that?! I know the mission call will arrive with a list of needed (and prohibited) clothing and supplies. But often experience adds to the basic common sense of some of these things.
Have you learned anything that you would do differently next time? Things you'd do earlier or later, things that seemed important that didn't end up being as important, etc.
Anything else you can think of? I'm sure I'll have other questions later... -
Michelle, I wouldn't buy any clothing until he gets the call. Climates vary so much. If he gets called to my mission, he'll definitely want a bunch of short-sleeved shirts! If he gets called to Alaska, maybe not so much!
Yes, he'll probably get a list of suggested items from the mission. I don't think he'll even come close to needing all of them. In most of my areas, there were basic items that could be used. Also, a lot of missionaries leave even clothing behind and that gets passed on. What I would do if I were you is try to get on one of these mission-specific groups once he gets his call, and ask the people there what he'll really need.
As for places to shop, I'm not much help there for the elders. My mom sewed a bunch of my stuff but I don't suppose you're going to sew suits, are you? I know Mr. Mac in Utah has good deals for missionaries, but if you aren't going to be in Utah that might be hard for fittings and stuff. You might be able to find a place locally that will give you a deal if they are told it is for missionary work. Also, Burlington Coat Factory sometimes has decent quality stuff for a good price. I got some skirts there and they lasted through the mission and beyond (sad to say, I still have some of them and I've been home almost 15 years!) -
- CommentAuthorMichelle D
- CommentTimeMar 13th 2009
Yeah, I thought of Mr. Mac but they don't have anything like that here. But we do have a Burlington Coat Factory. Thanks for that suggestion. I also wondered about asking for discounts for missionary service. Especially if I'm buying a large number of shirts or a couple of suits at the same time... And Ryan should be fairly well set for ties, though I'll double check to make sure they're still in good condition. I don't think they'll want him to take his bright yellow Spongebob Squarepants tie, though...
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Great thread...here's my 2 cents for what it is worth!
1. #1~the Adversary is going to work overtime on your missionary, counsel with him, pray with him & beat the girls away with a stick!
2. I'm "outside the Mormon Corridor"...based on "where" he is called, go to www.ldsmissions.net (or at least that is what it used to be called)..those having served recently will give him great advice along with a letter (sometimes included with the call) from the Mission President that is mission specific. (see more below on clothing)
3. Shots/Immunizations: Check on this ASAP, if he needs a Hep B series, it takes 6 months, the Missionary Dept does not tell you there is an accelarated series, I think it is day #1, day#30 & day#90 to get the shots, but find out quick & fast what he needs & WHERE he can get it the cheapest. The combo of shots (for overseas missions) can make him sick (flu like or sore arms or chills) so, do not plan on activities or pictures, etc after his shots.
4. My red headed, freckled son went to the Brazil Salvador mission, 13 degrees south of the equator. Buy sunscreen in bulk! (this is when we really knew the Lord had a sense of humor!)
5. As far a clothes, I fired up the phone to LandsEnd & bought 1 of every short sleeve non-iron shirt they had for style & fit. Once the 6 of them arrived, DS tried them on (in about 8 mins) & we picked the most comfortable..a tropic weight, no iron & I bought 14 or them, returning those that we did not like. Trust me on this. DO NOT attempt to waste your time or gas on finding shirts locally...(if you live outside of the Mormon Corridor). It is fruitless as most stores will only have 1-3 of a size or style. I just bought in bulk & saved myself the headache of taking my Adversary Challenged Son shopping (UGHHHHH!!!) I also bought 2 long sleeve shirts for the MTC & Temple trips while in UT.
6. You can buy things like socks now...this is where you want to put your $$$$ as they wear them out fast. The better the sock, the better the support for those long walks.
7. Brooks Bros. outlet & JCPenney's both gave us a 20-25% missionary discount (this is a storewide policy)...I had to go to the store manager & ask about it, but both knew about it & freely gave it. It was quite the missionary moment as I explained I was buying clothes for 2 years.
8. The best pants around are Haggar Black Label dress slacks (wool gabardine) found at JCP. They run about $50/piece but you can get them onsale for 2/$60. WHY you ask are they the best? Because they were the ONLY washable dress pant we could find. NO chino's in his mission. And no dry cleaners. Ergo, the need for washable. My son absolutely said they were the best item he took on his mission, they were cool in the 110 degree sun & warm @ night. And they wore well the entire 2 years.
9. If you son goes to the MTC in UT in a cooler season than his mission, send him with a set of "warm" clothes i.e. long sleeve shirts, extra suit, trench coat to use while there. My son used these items & then shipped them home before he went to Brazil. In turn, I shipped some of his "Brazil clothes" to the MTC...it just made the intial trip easier, not so much to pack.
10. Send a good multi vitamin with him (said the nurse!)...missionaries don't always each well, water can be sketchy, g.i. upset frequent, they need to make sure they are getting the basic vitamins every day.
I'll write more later.....got RS B-day tomorrow, am exhausted.....will be happy when I turn the key in the church & lock it!! :) -
- CommentAuthorMichelle D
- CommentTimeMar 13th 2009
THANK YOU, SPITFIRE! -
Mr. Mac has good quality stuff online. Their suits are made especially for missionaries (secret pockets and other stuff) and the prices are great. (Fantastic quality, great looking suits for about $160 with two pairs of pants.) Mr. Mac has missionary discounts and washable slacks. Land's End also has great quality, but I didn't think to look there, because--I'm in Utah! I would also wait until you get the call. You can go to the following website and download checklists that will give you an idea of what you'll be looking for, but you won't need everything, so, again, wait to start buying.
http://www.organizedforamission.com/ -
Michelle, You don't need to buy the book. I have it, so look at the lists that are there for downloading and if you need explanation, ask me.
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These ladies have some wonderful ideas, Michelle, and you were smart to ask.
I think I would add this. We got my son's immunizations at the local District Seven Health Department for the state of Idaho. As Spitfire said, some of the immunizations come in a series, and they have to be spaced appropriately. We started the series when he was eighteen, and the shots were ten bucks a visit, no matter how many shots he had. Because of the necessary spacing, and because we didn't start soon enough, the last shot in the series had to be given after he turned nineteen. Because he was over the age of 18, we didn't get the children's discount on the last one. The last shot in his series cost over a hundred bucks. Check with your local state health department. If you don't start soon enough, he might also have to have the last shot in the series while he is in the MTC. The clerk in the health department asked us to get the word out to all prospective missionaries about eighteen year-olds starting the shots early enough.
When you get the booklet from his mission president listing all the things he should bring, ASK HIM if he will use those items. That was frustrating. We spent about 2000 dollars getting my son ready to go, and he sent a lot of the stuff home when he left the MTC for Mexico. Of course, some of it he won't know if he needs until he actually gets in the mission field, and some things that weren't listed he will learn he needs when he has lived there for awhile. I think that will happen no matter how well you prepare.
Since that suitcase has to ZIP, and since there is a weight limit per suitcase, it might be wise to get some of those space bags at WalMart. Have you used them? You put the suitcase stuff in the space bag and suck the air out with a vacuum cleaner hose, and it makes the stuff compact enough to fit in the suitcase and zip easily. Another idea is to vaccuum pack one bag for the mission and instruct your son not to open it in the MTC, and fill the other suitcase with things he will need and use in the MTC. (A mom of a lot of missionaries told me that one.)
I'm probably going to get this wrong, but at least I can describe it. If he goes overseas, the postal service has a good way to send a care package from home. You buy a box for a certain cost, and then you can stuff it as full as you can get it, regardless of the weight. (Can't remember specifically what they call the service.) If I remember right, I bought a box for $35 dollars, stuffed it to the gills, and it got there in three weeks. When we sent the first one by regular mail, before we knew about this deal, it cost sixty bucks to send and didn't get there for over three months, and the box was pretty beat up when it arrived. My neighbor has used this service to send packages to Taiwan, and she was really pleased. I'll try to check with the post office on Monday and see what that service is called.
You can't send photos in a letter. They've recently given some instructions about what constitutes a LETTER to a missionary and what constitutes a PACKAGE. Photos included in a letter renders it a package. A letter can only include. . .a letter.
Might want to check out missionarymall.com.
Hmmmm. I'll think some more. -
If you get on that missionary mom site there are missionary prep lists, active missionary lists, lists for parents of returned missionaries--everything you need. You can get on the appropriate list and start asking questions. When you get the call, get on the regional list for your missionary.
http://www.ldsmissionarymoms.com/
I've learned so much about how to send, what to send, when to send and when not to. I learned about what happens in the MTC, how to get calling cards for your missionary to call home from the airport, how to track their flights and make sure they land in the right places at the right times. I ask a lot of questions and probably irritate some people, but most are very helpful and kind. I've learned that in Ukraine, a travel iron might be a nice thing since they air dry the clothing and the humidity doesn't always leave the clothes. I've learned that there is a lot of second-hand smoke, so I'm sending some heavy antioxidants. :)
I told my son I would send a letter every day to remind him to take his vitamins, until he can tell me truthfully, on his honor, that he is swallowing the mom-prescribed amounts and varieties twice daily. -
I reread your post, Michelle, and I see that the advice I gave about immunizations for eighteen year-olds won't be helpful to you this go-around, but maybe it would be good for other moms to know.
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spande reminded me about vitamins. In our mission and several others I know of (don't know if it's church-wide though), the mission supplied vitamins and asked that each missionary take them every day. Sometimes our president would even ask us in an interview, "Still taking your vitamins?"
Shots I would personally wait on, because if he goes in the states, he won't need most of them. I went to Oregon and I don't think I needed any extra health stuff other than wisdom teeth pulled. I did need a hepatitis shot in the MTC because one of the food service workers there was positive for hepatitis. They had to immunize the whole MTC, and those who had been there recently and already left. What a pain. It was funny though, we had to wait in line about an hour to get the shot. They would take the sisters in just with their companion, but the elders they would take in groups of about 10. The elders told us that the nurses just told them to drop their drawers and they went down the line shooting them up. That shot HURT! We called it the peanut butter shot because it felt like a big glob of peanut butter in your rear end for a few days.
All this talk is making me want to do it again. A mission is so much fun. I loved the MTC, what a great five weeks! And it just got better from there.
Of course, having said that, I never want to go as a single sister again. Companions are hard. Better to have an eternal companion that you chose and get to stay with the whole time, right? Most of my comps were great, but there are a few that really should not have been there. I would have to say that was the single most difficult things for me. -
Just a few more thoughts...
1. If you can get Hepatitis B shots for a nominal amount, go ahead & get the series started. Regardless of mission, this series is often required in "real life" when working for the public (like rec centers, hospitals, day care, schools, etc). You won't go wrong with starting this series regardless of what mission he goes to. (Once you get the series, it does not have to be repeated, ever. I was immunized over 18 years ago & have never required even a booster shot for Hep B.)
2. I can't remember the postal system from 9 years ago, but I used to pack his care packages in "cereal" (in ziplock bags) instead of the foam "peanuts" or bubble wrap. This gave him food & helped with the packing.
3. Don't know if this was a "folk story" or not, but was told if I pasted pictures of Jesus or the Virgin Mary on the outside that the "postal workers" (foreign) would not steal from the packages. So, I went to a Catholic bookstore & bought pics of the Virgin Mary & Jesus & plastered the packages everytime I sent them. I can honestly tell you, he received every package & they were never tampered with or stolen. Also, if you are sending shoes abroad, sent one shoe per package & send the packages about a week apart.
4. After he received his mission call, I went to our bank (a national bank) & asked them to research the area of Brazil he was going to for ATMS/banks that would accept his ATM card or cash checks for free. It took about 2 weeks but they did give us a list & it was very helpful & accurate. I keep about $500 in a bank account which my son had access to in the event of an emergency or a need (new shoes, clothing).
I'll write more as I think of things. Sounds like they have created some great websites that did not exist when my son went... -
- CommentAuthorMichelle D
- CommentTimeMar 14th 2009 edited
I really need this advice, but now I'm feeling a bit nervous. There is SO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT and SO MUCH TO DO! Argh!
Thanks for all the advice! Please keep it coming. It will help.
And I will continue to process it all, and do what works best for us. -
- CommentAuthorMichelle D
- CommentTimeMar 14th 2009
Are the overseas immunizations different than the ones he has already had? Because he had to have Hep B and a bunch of others before he could finalize and submit his papers to the bishop/stake pres... -
Love the shoe idea, spitfire! :) That's fantastic. Pictures of Mary and Jesus may work in heavily Catholic countries, but I'm not sure they work in Ukraine or Russia.
When is that call due to arrive, Michelle? I'm getting antsy. ;) In Utah (at least, Utah County) they call you the morning it arrives in the post office to ask if you want it delivered or you want to pick it up. I wanted to pick it up. I jumped in the car and zipped down there. I managed to keep the envelope sealed and let my son open it. Some people wait for the family to gather. Not here! We got Dad and Grandparents on the phone and the kids who were awake and home around and opened it. (I also used to open my Christmas presents and rewrap them...) -
- CommentAuthorMichelle D
- CommentTimeMar 14th 2009
It has technically been about 9 days since it was submitted to SLC - so it could still be a few weeks. Ryan was told it would be about 2-3 weeks. "By the end of the month" seems to help me keep it all in perspective - really soon, but not yet looking for it every day... His 16 yr old sister is extremely excited and talks about it all the time. I think she's counting the days...
We are planning on gathering our family to be together when he opens it. We will record it. Then he will call grandparents and other extended family. I'm sure my teens will have the video up on Facebook pretty quickly. The 16 yr old started a FB group for friends to guess where he might be called. He knows that if I'm sleeping because of working overnight that he has to wake me up. The mail comes in the afternoon here. So it won't be long to wait for kids to come home from school. I hope we can do that!
Our former bishop's wife sent her son's shoes one at a time, as well. :) -
In our town, the store at the VA hospital is open to the public and the white shirts they sell there are of excellent quality, very easy care, and very inexpensive. So all the missionaries hereabouts buy shirts there.
My daughter went to Brazil, and it was very hard for our relatives in Utah to wrap their heads around the notion that she would not go to "THE MTC" but directly to the MTC in Brasil. They kept wanting to pick her up from the SLC airport and we just couldn't get through to them....so we finally ended up sending her out to Utah to say good-bye to everyone, a few weeks before she left for Brasil, so that was an additional cost. It was also harder as a parent when they go directly to a foreign MTC, because you lose the few weeks "grace period" of being able to ship things easily to the Provo MTC (unfinished quilt, etc.).
BTW, that daughter currently lives in Brasil, and serves at the MTC on Sundays.
One thing that is great for them to have is a small photo album of where they live. Family photos, but also a map of the US showing where our town is, etc. Pictures of his college campus, etc. Many people were shocked that our house is so small and we ride bicycles, etc. because of course the movies tend to show a 90210 life style. -
Sorry, VA stands for Veteran's Administration not Virginia.
Also, one year for Christmas we made her a pillowcase that everyone signed in fabric paint. That's a great lightweight thing that they can carry with them (it also fits in the flat priority mailer). -
_it was very hard for our relatives in Utah to wrap their heads around the notion that she would not go to "THE MTC" but directly to the MTC in Brasil._
naismith, is it only utahns who are so stupid that they cant understand the complicated concept of more than one mtc? -
My son split his time between Provo MTC & the Sao Paulo MTC then sent him about as far north & as far inland as they could.....his take on the whole experience was "I wish they would have sent me directly to the mission, the dialect in the North was so different, it was like learning 2 languages in 4 months".....
As far as the Hep B series. If they are requiring that before the papers are submitted, that is new to me (but I'm way out of the mission mom thing, ds is 30)...but YES, that is the same Hep B I was referring to. (3 shots over 6 months)
As far as the pics on the outside of the package...if you are sending to the Ukraine...just put a big red circle with a slash & "no alcohol" on the package....they won't open it!! Honest! My g.f. husband served in Russia (one of the 1st to go)...said practically every one over the age of 17-18 drank alcohol daily & most adults had some form of alcoholism.... -
- CommentAuthorAlison Moore Smith
- CommentTimeMar 14th 2009
Great input everyone. I would never have thought to look at the VA!Posted By: Oregoniannaismith, is it only utahns who are so stupid that they cant understand the complicated concept of more than one mtc?
Wah! That's how I read that, too! But I wasn't going to SAY it. Naismith, really? Your relatives couldn't grasp this issue? It's like the outwoods cousin in "Vacation."
I'm seeing this in my mind:
Naismith: She enters the MTC in May.
Relatives: Oh, good. We can pick her up!
Naismith: No, she isn't going to the MTC in Provo. She's going directly to the MTC in Brazil.
Relatives: She's going to the MTC. Oh, good. We can pick her up!
Naismith: You can't pick her up, because she isn't going to Utah. She's only going to Brazil. They have an MTC in Brazil for missionaries going there. So she's just going straight there.
Relatives: Well, that's neat. When is her plane coming into Salt Lake? We can pick her up!
Naismith: You can't. She's not going to Provo.
Relatives: But you said she was going to THE MTC! Right? When can we pick her up?
Naismith: You can't. She's not going to the Utah MTC. She's going to the Brazil MTC.
Relatives: Golly whillickers. I just can't wrap my head around that. Anyway, when can we pick her up? -
LOL!
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- CommentAuthorjennycherie
- CommentTimeMar 14th 2009
Posted By: Alison Moore Smith
Naismith:You can't. She's not going to the Utah MTC. She's going to the Brazil MTC.
Relatives:Golly whillickers. I just can't wrap my head around that. Anyway, when can we pick her up?
okay - you laugh, but seriously - I've had those types of conversations! Different issues, of course, but the same concept. In fact, I think I had 2 or 3 of those types of conversations with students this past week! -
Okay, spitfire, the first package I send will go out with the slash, circle, NO Alcohol! I'll let you know what happens. LOL! I think I'll tell all the other missionary moms to try it too. It could work. Any other ideas you would like to share with me? At least I'm laughing right now. I've been crying most of the afternoon and evening.
Thank you! -
naismith, is it only utahns who are so stupid that they cant understand the complicated concept of more than one mtc?
I never said they were stupid. I said they had a hard time wrapping their heads around the notion. To me, that involves not just comprehension, but acceptance, and also understanding the consequences.
I had several conversations that went pretty much as Alison described, except that on our end we thanked them, and on their end of course they never explicitly said, "I can't wrap my head around that." They did keep wanting to know when she arrived in SLC, and then told us that we should go read the paperwork again, that we must be mistaken. Of course she would go to Provo, they insisted, SIster Soandso's son went to Brasil and he had gone to Provo first. Then they asked about seeing her at the airport on her way through, because they kind of assumed that all missionaries have to go through SLC (which would have been out of the way).
And even after they comprehended that she really was flying directly to Brasil, they were not accepting, and were very wistful about her not coming out there first. So we sent her.
That flight was more expensive than all her clothes, because it had to be at a time of day when the relatives could pick her up, and after her last semester, etc. So it overlapped BYU education week on one end, and thus was more expensive than it might have been at another time of year.
Since Michelle D was asking about mission-related expenses, I was sincerely trying to share our experience. -
Naismith, really? Your relatives couldn't grasp this issue?
No, clearly the problem was not with my sainted Utah relatives who have been in the church for generations. Clearly the problem was with me, because I am so stupid. So stupid that it is perfectly okay for good latter-day saint sisters to make fun of me without feeling the least bit like judgemental bitches. -
When did your daughter go, Naismith? I remember when I heard of the first missionary going directly to the MTC there (gee, that must have been about 10 years ago maybe?) I thought, huh? But now it's just normal.
Is it that way for other countries? I know there are MTC's in other places (England, where else?). Do American missionaries go directly there?
Speaking of which, we have a brother/sister who are both going to Brazil (different missions) and report to the MTC the same day, so they will fly down together. They said it will probably be the first instance where an unmarried elder and a sister can travel together without another missionary present. Their mom is from Brazil, and they go visit family there often, so it should be no problem for them. However, the first missionary that I knew who did this direct to Brazil thing was a farm boy from my small town who had never been on a plane before. His first flight ever, international and alone.
Which also makes me wonder - since you've done this before, Naismith. How does the setting apart work? I know when I was set apart I couldn't be alone after that. So do they wait until the missionaries arrive in Brazil to set them apart, or do they just make an exception to the being alone thing? -
No, clearly the problem was not with my sainted Utah relatives who have been in the church for generations. Clearly the problem was with me, because I am so stupid. So stupid that it is perfectly okay for good latter-day saint sisters to make fun of me without feeling the least bit like judgemental bitches
Whoa, I thought it was just a joke. :-( -
Michelle, reading about your opening the call plans, I thought back to an experience we had in my family. Whenever a missionary in our family went (myself and my 4 brothers), we would write down our guess as to where they would go and then whoever got the closest got a prize.
When my second-to-youngest brother went, we all wrote our guesses down, and he was called to the Kingston Jamaica mission. We started opening the slips, and someone had written down "Kingston Jamaica". That was just way too weird, out of all the missions in the world, that someone would hit it spot-on.
My sister's husband was over there just grinning ear to ear. He had steamed the thing open and looked at the call before my brother got to open it. Oh, my mom was SO MAD! But this was just another in a long line of crazy things my brother-in-law has done. He's a fun guy, but that was a little over the line!
I'm so excited to see where your son goes! -
Naismith, please explain that last sentence. I can't wrap my head around it.
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So, back to mission advice: Spitfire, did you see my note that your advice brightened my day? I think it might have been buried in all the other stuff. I seriously wanted to thank you both for the ideas and for making me laugh.
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- CommentAuthorLewis_Family
- CommentTimeMar 15th 2009
Posted By: RayNaismith, please explain that last sentence. I can't wrap my head around it.
" title="" >
And you're not even in Utah. -
Spande2.....I just had a chance to crack open the laptop (@ 1112PM Sunday PM)....I'm glad you could have a laugh from my "sick" humor. I really don't know if it would work, all I know is that WOW issues were the biggest challenge my friend faced. Lots of booze & lot's of smokes......all starting at relatively young ages. But don't forget that potato peeler! That was his prized possession.....LOL....little things make 'em happy!
I'm sorry you are crying....it is hard to send them off. My son was my one & only child.....a big difference in my life. Suffice to say, it was scary, mostly because I couldn't "oversee" him i.e. make sure he was safe & warm & had a full belly. All those things we take for granted as a mother when our children are around. But I resolved myself that if I could endure what he was to endure, then it was ok. We want to protect our children from the very experiences that blessed us with the insight which governs us now.
At the end of the day, I figured he was on the Lord's team & if anything happened to him, well, hopefully he would be on the fastrack to the Celestial Kingdom. And frankly, paying the monthy stipend (at the time $425) was a blessing....my son was the mission president's worry, not mine!!!
Hang in there, it will be okay.....I'll send you a daily pick me up.....just let me know...
{{{{HUGS}}}} -
Speaking of which, what does a mission cost nowdays? I haven't heard of it changing, but I'm sure it must have since I went.
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Thanks, spitfire. I'm lucky to have four others at home, but I still miss him. A funny aside, I have a friend who has two children. One day we were at a performance where one of hers and one of mine were on the front row while someone was juggling knives. We were both a little nervous and she said to me: "Well, at least you have four more." LOL! Like having more makes it all okay if something happens to one of them.
Anyway, I gave him two potato peelers, so at least he can eat potatoes. ;)
I'm doing tons better today. The thing that set me off yesterday was that I got the first letter from the (Provo) MTC and found out that, in direct opposition to the manufacturer's warning, given the fact that my son is in the middle of a full-blown respiratory illness, the nurses decided it "should be okay" to give him the typhoid shot. I hit the roof. "Should be okay" is not good enough for me. Any element of risk that can be avoided should be avoided. It really upset me. Had I been there, he would have waited until he was well to get the shot. He, of course, pointed out to them that he was sick and then trusted them to make the best decision on his behalf. He was obviously not that happy about what they decided, but didn't feel like he should tell them he wasn't going to do it. It bugged me that their convenience was more important than my son's safety. He's going to be there for 11 weeks, waiting a week or two would not have hurt them.
So, that combined with the stress of being expected to be at four events yesterday, the locations of which rotated between Provo/Orem and Highland/Alpine, the fact that I had promised to gather signatures for a petition and it really should have been done by yesterday, the fact that I had a house full of little friends and cousins who needed transportation to and from Provo and Pleasant Grove and the fact that I was missing my son when that letter arrived, all combined to unhinge me.
Today, we went to a very nice farewell for one of my son's best friends. I had a long nap and I'm feeling a lot better. -
I think looooong naps were the order of the day .....all of us needed one & hopefully got one...
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If your son gets Central and South America the white paper and pictures of Jesus does work. The people are very superticous and won't cross Jesus. Many moms learned the hard way about packages. Many packages never got there where as my daughter always got hers. I had learned from another mother in the same mission that Liz went too that it was the only way to go. When Liz married and went to el Salvador that was also the way all our packages went. Never lost one!
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Oh, and you tape the package so they can't make a tear anywhere. Plus, on the customs tags you put church supplies and only 25.00 cost and I think that helps.
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$400/month
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Wow, that is really not bad. I think it's the same (or very close - maybe $350) as when I went. I went right towards the beginning of the "equalized" plan. The guys my age all had to pay the "going rate" for their missions, but by the time I went we all paid the same.
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- CommentAuthorLewis_Family
- CommentTimeMar 16th 2009
Posted By: Naismith
Naismith, really? Your relatives couldn't grasp this issue?
No, clearly the problem was not with my sainted Utah relatives who have been in the church for generations. Clearly the problem was with me, because I am so stupid. So stupid that it is perfectly okay for good latter-day saint sisters to make fun of me without feeling the least bit like judgemental bitches.
How sad that someone will come reading this thread for mission advice and have to read such a post. I know, I am overly sensitive in regards to word usages, but how many others in the world are too? I guess it is ok to throw words around though if one is upset enough, right? -
Our oldest son is 20 and has finished two years of college.
Oh, that's the other thing, it's a really good idea to have them apply for an associate's degree if they qualify, and most would after two years, or less if there are AP credits to apply. My missionaries were both at a 4-year university, which rarely awards associate's degrees, and they weren't very helpful or supportive. But it is critical in terms of "freezing" the credits. If they decide to go someplace else, they can transfer more easily. If they decide to take time off, they don't have to worry about the credits expiring, because the degree is always good. (Having lived in college towns for the last 30 years, we've known so many people who desperately come back to try to finish because their credits are expiring, and more who are left without any kind of degree because they didn't finish in time.)Which also makes me wonder - since you've done this before, Naismith. How does the setting apart work? I know when I was set apart I couldn't be alone after that. So do they wait until the missionaries arrive in Brazil to set them apart, or do they just make an exception to the being alone thing?
There may be exceptions of course, but generally the stake president does the setting apart. Ours was kind enough to do it the night before she left, so it was not too long to live mission rules.
People from hereabouts regularly drive their children to the Provo MTC as part of a family vacation, which means the missionary has to keep those standards, dress appropriately, etc. My daughter's best friend visited her at BYU on such a trip, and mom chaperoned them the entire time. So that is an example of "not alone."
But one of our sons-in-law was the only member in his family, had joined as a teen. He was set apart on a Sunday, didn't leave until midweek, and didn't feel comfortable in his home with his brother and sister who were into drinking, smoking, etc. His parents were active-duty military and deployed at the time. So he pretty much did stay all alone in his room for those days.
My missionary daughter flew alone out of our local airport, and met up with a group of male missionaries for the international flight.
I think the underlying principle is trying to live mission rules as best you can in any given situation. -
How sad that someone will come reading this thread for mission advice and have to read such a post.
Is it really so very much more sad than sharing a real experience that might help another family to budget for mission-related expenses, and getting laughed at? Not laughed with, I was dead serious. Laughed at.I know, I am overly sensitive in regards to word usages, but how many others in the world are too? I guess it is ok to throw words around though if one is upset enough, right?
Maybe if you don't want to be called that name, don't act like it.
Besides, when I do something of which you disapprove, you get to tell yourself how much more righteous than me you are. -
- CommentAuthorLewis_Family
- CommentTimeMar 16th 2009 edited
I am sorry, when in the course of this conversation did I act in such a way to be called out upon?
And what a cop out, it's ok to use foul language if people are acting like it? That is justification at it's finest.
Then again, I guess birds of a feather... huh Naismith? -
I think we should just open a thread where we can fight. That would be fun.
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Michelle is working tonight, but I know how deeply pained she would be at the turn this thread has taken. Please keep her sensibilities in mind as you comment from this point forward.
Thanks.
PS. If anyone is interested, I wrote the following on my own blog two weeks ago:
The Danger of Safe Contention -
- CommentAuthorLewis_Family
- CommentTimeMar 16th 2009 edited
I am sorry Ray, but aren't you a little late with your comment? In fact, you even participated in actions that apparently warranted comments that led to this turn. It took me awhile to figure out what to say, that wouldn't be taken as if I were a bubble child, but apparently I was the only one who it offended? And then I am the one called out because I said something about it?
I agree the thread took a nasty turn, that was the whole point in my comment, but apparently it just lumped me in with the rest of the "female dogs" for saying something about it. -
Lewis, my comment wasn't directed primarily at you. Naismith's comment was the main focus - and, frankly, Naismith's response to you was the tipping point.
I tried to diffuse the first comment with a humorous response, but that failed. I would have ignored your response, but Naismith repeated the insult. Therefore, I added my last comment.
Oh, and the link to the post was in response to Angie's humorous comment about having a thread to fight.
Please, everyone, just let it drop. -
Oh, and the link to the post was in response to Angie's humorous comment about having a thread to fight
I was just being sarcastic, because this whole threadjack has been annoying. Point being, if we want to fight like children, we should take it to another thread.
I agree, back to missionary advice!
Last night after FHE, we had a little family council to discuss my husband applying for a position that is open in Oregon. That's where I served my mission, for those who don't know. So, I got out all of my mission photos to show the kids what Oregon looks like, and it brought back so many happy memories of that time in my life. We talked about how it is often gray and drizzly in Oregon but I hardly noticed because I was so busy - would it be the same living there in "real life", or would the weather depress me now? Which brought me to this point: There are some mission items I would wait on until you get the call, or even until you get there. There were so many things on that suggested items list that I went out and bought but never used. Things like umbrellas and such - often missionaries will leave those when they go home, so an apartment will have a few that you can use without bringing your own. Even jackets and stuff. Oh, and irons. Almost every apartment I served in had one, donated by members.
I'm getting excited for you guys as your big event gets closer! Opening a mission call is one of the highlights of life. -
- CommentAuthorjennycherie
- CommentTimeMar 17th 2009
For those of you who have experience in the preparing children for missions.. . how did (or do) you prepare for this financially? I hear others speak about their sons saving for a mission and I hear about parents having a "mission fund". . . I'd love to hear what each of you have done. I'd also be interested in learning how you do it in the event of multiple children serving mission. Also, while the young men are expected to serve missions, with young women, it's left up to individual choice/circumstance. . . so did any of you prepare for your daughters to serve missions or did you wait to handle it when it came up?